Valentines Turmoil
by littlecleocat
Summary: Matthew gets two anonymous cards on valentines day, and all his friends get cards too. How will they all deal with the people they like, and the people who like them? Characters:Canada, America, Russia, England, Scotland, Prussia, Austria, Spain, Romano and a few more
1. Chapter 1

So I wrote this like a year ago but wanted to put it up before February ends... I'll be putting up one a day I hope :) or two is possible too

and Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia!

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Tomorrow was Valentines Day, and Matthew Williams wasn't expecting it to be the most romantic day of his life. He was, in fact, expecting it to be just like every other valentines day. He would always see cute couples acting overly lovey-dovey and pink and red hearts all over. He was sure it would just eat away at him like last year, because it's yet another reminder of the fact that he was single; that he was all alone, no boyfriend or girlfriend to love him like everyone else had. He was sitting at his table in art class thinking about this when the bell awoke him from his thoughts. He stood up, and attempted to get his ridiculously heavy bag on his back. Then he scurried along, through the crowds of noisy high school students, to his final class of the day, English.

Matthew liked this class because his two (only) friends were in this class. The other reason he like this class, was because he got to see his crush of the last five years. When he got to class he sat down immediately Lovino and Arthur started talking to him and each other about things he didn't really care about, but at least it was better than not having anyone noticing him. When the next bell rang, Mr. Robinson started class with a poem, yet again a boring one. Then he began to tell us what we were doing today.

"You are all ahead of the other classes, but you have been doing so well, that you are _too_ ahead." he began, "So, I thought, why not give them a day off for all their hard work?'" The class cheered, "But I decided against It." the class groaned, "So I planned a compromise. First we will read chapters eight and nine from the book. When you're finished, you can make a valentines card for whomever you like!" The class cheered and chattered about who they wanted to get valentines from and who they were going to give them to. After a bit, it settled down and Matthew and the others were reading.

After a period of about 10 minutes, Mr. Robinson announced, "If you would like to give yours anonymously to another pupil in this class, write their name on the front, and I will collect them at the end of the day, and pass them out tomorrow."

Matthew didn't really pay much attention to this, because he was sure he wouldn't be getting a valentine from anyone anyway. Arthur was trying to talk to him about who he wished would give him one, and Lovino was trying to talk over Arthur to Gilbert. Matthew just wanted to get reading his book over with. He was way behind already.

When the bell rang signaling the end of the day, Matthew noticed that everyone put in at least one "anonymous" card in the bin. Matthew didn't though. He was almost done with his required reading, but not quite. He noticed that Alfred put a simple red card in the bin. He silently hoped it was for him, but the sensible side of his brain contradicted it, saying it was it was more likely for Carlos as a last minute joke. He walked home, went to bed and woke up thinking it wouldn't be for him.

But oh how wrong he was! The next day, arriving in English class, each desk had at least one card occupying its surface; even Arthur had a purple slip of paper. Matthew walked towards his desk. At first he thought he was in the wrong isle, but no, he counted the desks wrong? No, in the second isle, fourth desk back, there were two almost identical red cards with "Matthew" written on the cover! He dropped his bag, and stared at them, not daring to touch them, for they might not be real.

"Matthew look!" Arthur gestured to the card, "It's from Scotty, I think…" he whispered. Matthew read the scribbled words, "Dear Arthur, I was being foolish before, and didn't think. I'm single now, but I hope it's not too late. Meet me at 7:00 in the park by the post office."

Matthew took a moment to take it in, and then was pulled in the other direction by Lovino, "Look, it's _gotta_ be from Antonio..." The pink card read, "This card is from someone out side of this class, and from a person who has liked you for a long time, with no chance to tell you. -Your fellow tomato lover." How could it be, they both got ones from the people they like? Someone in this class even took the time to text Antonio and write a card for him to Lovino… he briefly wondered who, but the authors of _his_ cards were all Matthew could really think of.

"I got one too you know." said Gilbert with slight annoyance mixed with pride, "here, see?" and Matthew read, "I'd appreciate your company at the red arrow dinner, 6:00 tomorrow night "

"Who do you think it is?" Matthew asked

"I have no idea! I hope it's someone awesome though. Who gave you those?" he said pointing to the Canadians desk

"I haven't read them yet..." Matthew replied, staring at them again like they might still be his imagination.

"Well read them for Gott's sake!" Gilbert said, then turned to talk to Ludwig.

Matthew picked the one up from the top and opened it, in grey marker the words read, "Please meet me at the green bridge at 7:00." that was it. The next card was written in black marker and said, "I've always wanted to properly confess my feelings to you, so I will be waiting at the Swinging bridge at 7:30" That was it again.

Matthew looked at the last card again, and confirmed that they were in the same place, even though they were called different names, it was the same bridge. They were also about at the same time. Lovino was saying in the background, "Ug, why can't Antonio be in this class! All the guys in this class specified times they wanted to meet their valentine! Now I just have to find him on my own somehow... stupid…."

Then Mr. Robinson started class, and there was no more time to talk about this. Matthew was so in to he lesson by the end of the day, that he almost forgot it was Valentines Day, and that he had received two cards!

Matthew and Arthur went to their lockers, and Lovino went ahead to try to find Antonio. On the way out, Arthur got a call from his mom saying he would be picked up. Matthew walked home alone, and thought about who they could be from, and if one was Alfred or not. But also how he could sneak out of the house without his parents noticing?


	2. Chapter 2

Lovino read through the note Antonio sent him several times before the bell rang, still not believing he actually sent it to him, if maybe it was some sort of prank. Each time he read it, more doubt came and loomed over him. When the bell rang, he clutched the note tight in my hand while gathering his things.

He looked at Matthew, seeing him looking more depressed than usual. Lovino was positive one of Matthew's notes was from Alfred, but he seemed to doubt his notes too. Arthur seemed particularly happy, strange as that was, and Gilbert seemed proud that someone "appreciated his awesomeness", but was annoyed they didn't write their name down.

Lovino has had a lot of friends like Gilbert in the past, and sort of still does. Usually they act tough to create a reputation, to be known for something. Lovino knew that well for he did the same when he was younger, and never lost the habit of it. Small and tough that's what he was. It was easy for him, the teachers never suspected someone like Lovino as the aggressor... for the first day or so anyway. Then they learned.

He never did it to be mean, not exactly. It was more like he just did and said what he wanted. And then one day he realized he didn't like having that reputation anymore. He tries to stifle his nature, and be polite. It hardly works. He just gets these different reputations thrown at him by others. You wouldn't believe how different they all are. It goes to show how people see others how they want to see them, so reputations mean nothing. Except for those rare few that are known today as "true friends". Not best friends. They have a reputation for backstabbing.

"Lovino, are you coming with us, or are you going to find Antonio?" Arthur asked with a knowing smile.

"Probably to find him." Gilbert said. "To make out!" he added in a not-so-quiet-and-defiantly-meant-to-be-heard-pervy-Gilbert whisper.

Lovino slapped Gilbert on the arm (a bit to hard to be considered just playful) with a shut up, but at the same time gave a small smile because he hoped Gilbert was right.

"Oooooh! Your smiling! You like that idea!" he teased. Lovino just laughed. Fantasies are fantasies so of course he like the idea, but it wouldn't happen if he just thought.

"Anyway, yeah I'll find him. I know where to go."

"You do?" Arthur asked. Matthew wasn't surprised he knew.

"Yeah." he assured them. He really did know where Antonio was, and there was no need to rush. He has theater 3, D block. The theater practices everyday after school. Knowing things about Antonio is a bad habit Lovino acquired over the years. He doesn't think of it as stalking. In his point of view it's Matthew's fault for teaching him it.

When Antonio mentions things to his friends, he'd listen. Its not stalking, he thinks, it's a type of detective work.

He had left his English class and walked into the lobby. He saw Antonio standing in the hallway by the cafeteria. He felt his knees about to give. He's so mixed with emotions. What exactly is he going to say, he wonders, is he going to do something stupid?

With the card still in hand, he walked towards him, trance-like. His heart was beating fast. Antonio noticed him and his cheeks turned a little pinker and he shifted from foot to foot. He hadn't expected to see Lovino so soon. Lovino thought he looked kind of cute when he did that foot thing.

"So, you got my card?" Antonio said, talking quietly and averting his eyes. Avoiding eye contact. Looking away.

Now Lovino's pissed off.

"Look at me. In the eyes, right now." he said in a hurt voice, he was sick of that game. It was a two-sided game. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Avoid eye contact, avoid talking, avoid being too near. Not all the time, but mostly through the past 2 years. All the while there was that aura in which they both knew the other was there, but avoided showing it. Lovino didn't deny it's his fault too, but its true when he say he's done.

Antonio was slightly surprised at his tone. But he understood.

"Did you really mean this?" he asked, indicating to the card.

"Of course!" he said, looking at him like he wanted to say something really important. As soon as he opened his mouth, however, another girl, pretty, blonde, and an upperclassmen, called to him to discuss theatre. She was with her friends. Lovino recognized her as Lovino's tutor. The blonde knew Antonio well, and would tell him to tell Antonio she said hi since he was in Lovino's study. Lovino never did.

By this time he was really pissed off. Antonio always has upperclassmen girls fawning over him and getting things for him during study.

"Just wait a sec-" Antonio started

But Lovino interrupted. "Just go. You have to go help out and…" Lovino yelped as he looked at the time on his phone.

It was 2:17.

"Fuck! I'm going to be late for the bus!" he said. Things just aren't going right, as usual.

Something is always in the way when they get to talk. His friends, Antonio's friends, those girls, the bus, the bell, time itself…

"How about this, do you want to meet somewhere?" Antonio asked.

"Sure." he replied hastily, there was no more time to talk, so Lovino took Antonio's phone from his pocket (the unexpected action turned his face red) and called his own cell phone.

"There. I have your number. I'll text you when I get on the bus so you can have mine. I really REALLY have to go."

He risked a pause, then made a daring move to give him a quick hug. He was sort of pissed at him, yes, but at the same time sort of happy. It was short, but much needed. It's been so long since he'd hugged him. He was so warm. You know how everyone has a smell? Lovino recognized Antonio's scent since a long while back, during the best times of their friendship. He knows it so well it's comforting.

When he let go and turned to leave, He found himself being pulled back.

Antonio pulled him right to him, his hand moving from his arm to behind his head, as if that could make them even closer. It was his first kiss, so he had nothing to measure it by, but it was a damn hot kiss in his opinion. It would have been a good kiss in her opinion just because it was with him anyway. It was warm, and, and it ended too fast while lasting forever.

He didn't care that the girls watching from afar awed at them for being so cute, though it wasn't a performance for them. It was entirely out of their own lust for one another.

When Antonio released him, he said, "You should catch the bus. You have about a minute." he said, not succeeding in hiding a smile.

When Lovino caught the bus, just barely as usual, he sat in his usual seat and caught his breath.

WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED, he thought, stunned. He's waited and waited to long sort this whole thing out. Outraged because it took so long, yet overjoyed its finally getting cleared up. Lovino would have rather Antonio tell him that he's sorry and didn't like her, than to let her hang there and stay stuck, unable to move on because he keep hoping.

"SOOO. How was Valentines day so far?" Feliciano said. Lovino told him it was all right. He didn't say what happened since he was still stunned. Feliciano talked and talked while Lovino snuck out the card and reread it again. One thing about it almost made me angry again. "I never got the chance to tell you." If he meant emotionally, that wasn't the best way to put it, since in actuality, we both had plenty of opportunities.

He remembered that he needed to text him. So he pulled out his phone and thought about what to write. He finally decided on simply saying, "It's me." He looked at the screen for a second, clicked send, and resumed listening to Feliciano's ongoing chatter about some German.


	3. Chapter 3

Gilbert was able to convince his parents to let him go out to the red arrow dinner. He walked in and immediately saw an unexpected guy waiting for him, well he was the only person from his English class there. He wasn't sure whom to expect, but he wasn't on any of his mental lists of possibilities. It was Roderich, a piano player. Not the kind of person he expected, but he walked over to him, maybe it was a mistake...

"Was this from you?" He said, holding up the card in question.

He nodded, "Yes, I sent that to you."

"So," Gilbert said sitting down, "Why me?" he knew it was early, and bold, and a hard question for people to answer even with lots of time to think, but that's why he asked it.

"I, well, it's kind of a secret." he said.

"Oh? A sssseeeeeecret?" he teased

"Well, I'll tell you later..."

"Why not now?" he wanted to know, and he thought he deserved to know!

"Uh, are you hungry?" he asked, avoiding the question.

"Not really, I ate before I left."

"Oh, so did I." he said.

"So why are we here if were not going to order something?"

"We can leave then." he stood up, and they left.

When they were out side, Roderick asked, "So were do you want to go?"

"Um, the park, if you want."

"Alright, the park." so they walked down to the park, going along the left path back around and kept going. They even kept going when they reached the Lumber mill, and they finally stopped at a big fallen tree by the river. They sat on the high bank, and were quiet for a moment.

"So, now that it's later, will you tell me?" Gilbert inquired/

"It's kind of embarrassing though..." he said, still deflecting his questions with uneasiness.

"That's fine, there's no one here but you and me."

"I know, but it, it, might offend you, or something, I don't know."

"You like me for a reason that would offend me? You know that's just making me more curious of what it could be, right?"

"Oh." is all he said.

"Try to tell me in a less offending way if you're worried."

"Well," he started, "You have a strong personality."

"Heck yeah I do. I'm awesome." he said, proving his point.

"And I... need to be with some one who's strong."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I..."

"Just come out and say it!" he demanded, not being able to wait for the answer of how someone could like him.

"I want you to.. tell me what to do." he blurted out, blushing, and looking away

"Tell you what to do?"

He blushed and stared intently at the flowing water down below them.

"So you like me, because you think I will order you around?" he asked, amazed.

He nodded, "I've never told anyone before, don't laugh, please."

"I won't laugh, but what if you don't want to do what I tell you to do?"

Looking away still, he mumbled, "that makes it better…"

"Well it's Valentines Day, I think I might be able to do that..."

He looked at him then, wondering if he heard it wrong, but he didn't.

Then Gilbert pounced, pushing the other man down, "I'll try my best." he said with a grin, then leaned down and whispered in Roderick's ear, "Now kiss me."


	4. Chapter 4

When Matthew got home, his mother and father were backing out of the driveway, "We won't be home until really late, and we expect you and your brothers to be asleep when we get home! And don't worry, we've decided to pay you this time, bye!" And they were off.

Matthew got inside, and tried to do his homework to forget his troubles as his brothers watched TV. It was 6:30 now, and he had half an hour to get there, but he had to watch his brothers! How could he go and leave them alone? They'd just run away or wreck the house. He finally decided to ask Jonathan, his wretched brother to watch the younger ones.

"How much will you pay me?" he asked greedily

"I'm not going to pay you, you just have to do it!"

"Well then I won't do it; no pay no gain." he retorted

"That's not even the phrase... anyway, I'll give you 10$"

"Forty." he said

"Twenty." Matthew pleaded

"Thirty."

"Fine, if you won't ask were I'm going, and say I'm asleep?" he bargained with his stubborn little brother.

"Deal." Jonathan held out his hand to shake on it, but he just left him hanging, Matthew didn't know were those hands have been.

He zoomed out he door, speed walking the whole way. By the time he was insight of the bridge he realized, he was early, and he would be sweaty. Great, he thought.

He went down the hill and sat down on the big rock by the bridge. Matthew would be able to see guy one coming, but he wouldn't be able to see him. It was a brilliant plan, so if a girl comes, he could get a quick get away, and wait until his next appointment and hope for Alfred.

After only a short while of waiting, a tall dark figure appeared in the middle of the bridge. He could tell he was tall, and male, so he walked toward it, though his mind told him that is why he _shouldn't _go. Then out of the dark appeared Ivan. Matthew did't know much about the guy except he was Arthur's crush from seventh grade. He had a kind of childish look to him, and he had always thought that, but now, with the fog surrounding him, his bright, almost creepy, smile to greet him was... sexy Matthew thought by accident. He could hardly believe he could think something like that about someone other than Alfred, but he saw his beautiful shinny hair and took it back. Ivan took a few steps forward, looking down to his upturned face.

"So, you came." he said, "I'm glad you could come, I know how your parents can be." Matthew didn't even notice that Ivan somehow knew about his normally straight-laced parents.

"They went out, so I had to pay my brother to put my other brothers to sleep for me." he replied in a whisper, Matthew felt as if everyone was watching him, as if he messed up it would make Ivan hate him, but he never could do anything right anyway.

"So I came to tell you something I wish I could have told you for a while now."

Matthew gave him a puzzled look, even though he felt as if it was obvious what he was going to say.

"I like you. No, I want you to become one with me. Now."

He couldn't breathe, was he going to get his first kiss? What will happen after that? Will he choose Ivan then leave the other guy waiting, or will he refuse and wait for the other guy, that he might be Alfred or someone he would have to refuse too?

Then he realized he had slowly been backing up, and Ivan was advancing. He was by the rock again, and he almost tripped over it, but he caught himself on the near by tree. This was a big pine tree that towered toward the skies, and he felt strangely small underneath it. Ivan was on him now he held his hands above his head in one hand, and his waist in the other. He looked into Matthew's eyes for a split second before he enveloped him in his warmth. He hadn't realized how cold it was before his hot body was pressed up against him. Ivan's lips, soft and hot, took control of his, commanding them to do his will. Matthew's body loosened, and he welcomed its new ruler with open arms. What Matthew didn't realize, was that he took this as if he was welcoming him with open legs.

The Russian then pushed his head back, and his tongue plunged into the depths of his mouth as his only ventured out into the other's a few times. He was sweating now, and wished yet again that he didn't, or couldn't, sweat. But Ivan liked it. He liked Matthew's smell, and his taste, not just his mouth. He moved to his neck and kissed there. Matthew was feeling more than he thought he could feel, the normal grey sheen that covered his senses dissolved by Ivan's touch. Matthew's hands were still in Ivan's one large fist, so to hold on he wrapped his legs around Ivan's waist.

Ivan pushed his free hand around to the front and then pulled Matthew's shirt off. He was bare chested now but he felt as if it was mid summer from just his own body heat. Matthew had no idea it would end up like this... but no use regretting it now. Ivan kissed his lips again, with tongue to start with too. Then he kissed down and around his neck then chest, and stomached in an intricate pattern down to his jeans, which he unzipped with his teeth.

Everything was going so fast, he didn't realize that time was going by just as fast. It was 7:30 already. He heard the bridge creaking, and then the sound stopped, and then Matthew saw another shadow of a tall male, still in the middle of the bridge. Then, as if it had seen him looking, the shadow came this way.

Ivan had pulled off Matthew's pants, and, tossing them aside. He kissed, and licked all available surfaces of skin, then froze; he had heard the other guy coming. Out of the dark mist came Alfred.


	5. Chapter 5

Matthew was stunned, he had hoped, but didn't truly think Alfred could have been one of the note givers. Alfred stood there, a box of chocolate clutched in his hand, staring at Ivan's hulking figure over Matthews slender naked one, hands held above his head.

Matthew's face somehow got even more pink! He was so embarrassed; he began to cry, but not a wailing sobbing cry of a child. His cry was one that was just tears silently rolling off his eyelashes that stained the face with sorrow of the mistake he made.

The box of chocolates, released from his hand clattered to the ground, and the sound reverberated around the entire area. Alfred was stupefied by the sight before him. Matthew could tell he didn't expect anything like _this_ to be waiting for him when he got here.

"Matthew... Ivan?" He asked, then he came back from the dead, young and strong again he stormed over. He ripped Matthew's hands from Ivan's, pulling him to 'safety', then standing as a shield from Ivan in front of Matthew.

"Alfred, what are you doing here... what are you, hey!" He yelled; when he didn't turn abound to face him, Ivan grabbed Alfred's shoulder, and turned him by force. Alfred pushed away his hand.

"What did you do?" Alfred accused.

"I don't have to tell you, why are you even here? Answer me!" Ivan avoided Alfred's question.

"I told Matthew I'd meet him here!" Alfred replied.

"In a valentine?" Ivan asked.

"Yes, is that what you did?"

"Yes!"

"Well did you tell Mattie you were coming to rape him!?" Alfred burst out

"Wha.. I... He said I could!"

"Did you?" Alfred asked.

"Wel-" I was interrupted by Ivan.

"It doesn't matter, lets go." Ivan said to me, holding out his hand, but Alfred blocked it off.

"It's my turn." He said.

"Your turn?" Ivan and Matthew said at the same time.

"Yes, we'll see who he likes better, after he gets to experience me." He said then he pulled Matthew to the other side of the rock.

"It's okay, I'll save you from him." He said, as he did, he pulled me close to him, and kissed Matthew gently. His lips were slightly cold. Matthew just wanted to warm him up, so it became a two-sided kiss, instead of one-sided. Matthew felt himself instinctively wanting to be closer to Alfred's body, wanting to be as close as he could, kissing with tongue. Matthew pulled Alfred to him, trying to warm him up with the fire Alfred was igniting within him, eating up his heart and mind, so he couldn't think. Until he just wanted.

Matthew pushed him to the ground but Alfred rolled over so he was on top of the smaller boy. Ivan was still standing around, getting angrier every passionate second that passed, until it was too much for him. He just couldn't stand to see Matthew liking Alfred in anyway. He just couldn't understand how Matthew could kiss him then turn around and kiss_ that_ guy.

Ivan lunged forward pulled Matthew off of Alfred who just smirked at Ivan's reaction. Ivan carried him over to his pile of clothes and started to dress him. Last time, when he was undressing him it was sensual, but this was more rugged and the pleasure have a bit of pain to it. When he was fully dressed, Alfred had gotten up, and brushing off the dirt, came towards us.

"What are you doing?" Alfred asked

"I'm getting him ready to go home, so I can beat you to a pulp." he said, zipping up Matthew's jeans, even though Matthew could have dressed himself.

"Alright, if you think you can beat me. See you tomorrow Matthew." Alfred flashed a smile in his direction, but he was already hurrying away. He didn't know what to make of this whole situation. It was just too much for him to think about.


	6. Chapter 6

Ivan and Alfred were standing a few feet away from each other, not moving, or speaking, in a silent battle of will. Then Alfred spoke up.

"What did you do to him?"

"What are you accusing me of?"

"What do you think?" He took a step closer, and they began another stare down contest. Ivan turned and walked further into the woods, Alfred followed.

"Where do you think you're going, I'm not done talking to you!"

He walked a bit further then turned, then Alfred followed, Ivan pushed him up against a tree.

"Hey, get off me!" Alfred said trying to push him off.

"You want to know what I did to him?" Ivan whispered in Alfred's ear, "Well I'll show you."

Their faces were close, too close for Alfred to stand, he tried to get away, but Ivan's grip didn't let him. Ivan leaned in and kissed Alfred.

"You can take her place now." Ivan said in mid kiss. The temperature between them rose, as did the tension.

Ivan ripped off Alfred's flannel shirt, breaking a few buttons in the process, but he barely seemed to notice. He pulled down Alfred's pants, reaching in, searching, and finding. Alfred didn't want this to happen, they were frenimies, yes, but this wasn't either a friend or enemy thing. He just didn't want this to happen… So he tried to resist, the best he could, but it felt good too. He didn't want to think of it feeling good. He was holding his own mouth to keep from making any sound.

Then Ivan turned him around, so he couldn't see Alfred face, and could prepare him easier. Ivan was just starting to stroke himself, when the need hit him, and he plunged in, grunting at how tight he was.

Ivan had been hating himself for this since the beginning, but it was really hitting now, he began to cry, and it made him go harder at Alfred, because hurting him, was like hurting himself. Alfred wasn't crying though, he was toughing it out, trying to get through it with out crying and looking week.

After a while of Ivan hating himself, and speeding up anyway, they came at about at the same time. Alfred gasping for breath, covered his mouth, holding in the sound. Ivan groaned out loud, and it mixed with is cries.

"Sorry.." he whispered, not looking him in the eyes.

"It's," Alfred breathed, "aright, I won't blame~ ahh!" Ivan pulled out.

"No, it's not, I, I'm..."

"Really, It's fine," Alfred said, even though it most _defiantly_ wasn't fine... he just didn't wan to look weak anymore; he wanted to be the stronger one.

"But..." Ivan said trying to say something.

"Really, just forget about it, see you Monday man." Alfred said as he pulled on his shirt and started run-walking away. Half way down the street, he realized it would have been faster for him to go the other way, he would have to cross back on the other bridge, but it was too late now. Yet all he could think of is what Matthew would think of him.


	7. Chapter 7

be warned: I used confusing metaphors

* * *

Matthew checked his watch, it was only 7:48, and his parents defiantly wouldn't be home for a while so had time to walk around the oval*. He had gone across the bridge the wrong way anyway.

He walked up the street, then turned at the old folks home, going up past the gas station. He went up the street, and walked toward the library. Matthew had so much happen to him, but it made him realize in a way that he liked both of them, but maybe he liked neither? It didn't quite evoke much but physical feeling both times, but of course with Alfred, who he had liked for so long, there were more emotions. He wished their had been a bit more of emotion and sweet words overall and that everything wasn't so driven by the testosterone. That didn't mean he wasn't turned on right now. He actually felt like releasing his pressure right then, but its not like he could just stop the sidewalk and do that kind of thing!

When the library came into view, he saw a girl with long dark hair flowing behind her as she was running down the side walk away from the back of the library. He saw it was someone he recognized from school, but was blanking for her name. He got closer, and saw it was a girl from her English class. Matthew guessed it was a date gone wrong. He felt bad for the guy she ran from. How must he feel, being pushed away? Well he would probably be feeling a little of what Matthew was feeling right then, even though he had two options and the poor guy had none.

He took a chance, and walked up to the library front door, and kept walking along the path to go behind the building. There, he saw a shadowy figure sitting on the stone bench underneath the large tree at the top of the hill. He walked up toward it, not knowing who it was, but not particularly caring.

As he got closer he realized he was facing away from him. Matthew then stood right behind him, why didn't he hear him? Was his usual invisibleness kicking in? Then he saw his ear buds, he could even make out the faint beat of the music.

He recognized him from his English class. It was Francis. He wasn't sure how to approach him, but he decided to just tap him of the shoulder. When he did, Francis swiveled around, stoop up and pulled out his ear buds, dropping them to the ground, all at the same time. He could see he obviously was expecting the other girl, not Matthew. Then the surprise on his face gave way to grief.

"Oh, I thought it would be someone else..."

"Who'd you think it was?" Matthew asked.

Francis defiantly had given up hope; he was ready to spill out all his feelings right now, "I thought you were Michelle, giving me a second chance. But I was wrong. She'd never come back; he's never going to look at me the same. And I won't be able to look at her the same way either. Her beautiful long hair, it will represent the long lasting love I have for her, and the long lasting hatred she will have in return…"

He looked up at him, "Your hair is kind of long for a guy isn't it?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess? But it's short compared to hers." he said.

"That's okay, it could symbolize short love. I need love right now, even if it's just for a short time. Hey, would you pretend to love me? Just for tonight?"

Matthew didn't really want to pretend to love anybody, he began to decline, "actually, I don't think so-" But he was cut off.

"Please, I, I just don't think I can take it." he pleaded, "This feeling of being hated… on such a day too…"

"No, I think-" He was interupted again.

Then Francis grabbed Matthews sweatshirt, pulling himself into a kiss and pushing himself on Matthew, so Matthew lay on the ground.

"I promise you'll like it."

"Wait, no-" He kissed him again, stroking his hair like a precious dog.

"Trust me, it'll feel good." he panted in her ear as he resisted Matthew's struggles to get up. They rolled over a few times as he tried to get away, but he was surprisingly strong. They were now behind the large tree, definitely out of view of the road, and maybe even out of shouting distance. But he still tried to get away, and Francis still held him down. He kissed him, and kissed him, his tongue being plunged into Matthew's mouth. Freancis was right about one thing; it felt good, he was indeed a good kisser. But Matthew felt gross on the inside. This was not how he planed his walk around the oval. He just wanted to get home and touch himself to sleep like usual… But Francis was doing the touching for him.

He had bypassed his shirt, and pulled off his pants. Matthew suddenly wished he'd worn skinny jeans, because it would have made it so much harder for these guys to take his pants off.

"No, no, nng" he said but he had stared kissing him again, Matthew was getting out of breath.

Francis worked his fingers, stroking all the right places, but for all the wrong reasons. He moaned, and he smiled. Then he began using his mouth on him, he couldn't say anything, He couldn't scream for help, he could do nothing. He was helpless. Francis was just too good at this stuff so he was panting, moaning and groaning under his touch.

Then when he came, he couldn't even make a sound besides his heavy breathing. Then Francis began to touch his hole, pushing a finger in, and then another and he whispered in his ear, "That was just the beginning, here's the real thing, mon amour rapide*." he ripped open a condom, and quickly put it on and pushed into him. Matthew contorted in pain and pleasure. Francis pushed and pulled out skillfully. It was almost too much for him. His system wasn't used to this, he couldn't breath, couldn't see, or hear, all of his senses were being occupied by the feeling of this hot body pounding him until his nerves exploded.

Then, it felt as if all his senses exploded back to him at once, and his voice came out, for just a second, and combined with Francis's. Francis was glad he had brought protection. Even if it was meant to be used with… he couldn't even think her name….

Matthew could hardly think, but he really didn't want to acknowledge the fact of what happened. He had been crying all this time, and he wondered how he could still have tears. His body and emotions seemed hurt and confused, in a mix of happiness and sadness, pain and pleasure.

Francis breathed in his ear. Her pulled out, and he felt another flash of feeling, before he felt hollow on the inside, almost as if he was now incomplete with out him.

He removed the protection, and flung it in the woods, over by the short cut from the train tracks. Matthew somehow found it in him to think how funny it will be when some kid walking home from school finds that on the path... then it all abruptly became funny. The whole thing. The whole day to him just seemed like a big joke, as if someone had set it up just to make him feel pain, to make him feel bad about himself.

He laughed out loud, first it was quiet, then it rose, and he lay on the ground, laughing and rolling in the dirt. It was _all_ the most hilarious thing to him at that moment, and nothing mattered, he put on his clothes and laughed. Francis just stood there, dumbfounded, confused, and worried. Matthew laughed at his face. He laughed at how dirty his favorite clothes got. He laughed at how he had just been raped.

Then it all went away and he could no longer laugh. He could no longer see the funniness in anything. His chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, and he fell back down to the ground. He cried. He cried, and he wailed, and Francis tried to console him, but couldn't. He tried to hug him, and kiss him, and make it all better, but he couldn't. He was the reason for this pain, the reason for this perpetual agony that writhed like a snake in the hollowness of his heart, eating up his feelings. Then he felt nothing, the snake had died, because it had no more emotions to feed on. There was no happiness, sadness, pain or pleasure.

There was just empty grayness that Francis mistook for forgiveness. He kissed him, but he didn't kiss back. Francis asked him if he should walk him home, and Matthew said he would walk alone. The fire in him was gone; and Francis could see that. He didn't know why he had to do it, but he did it, and he knew that what he did was impossible to reverse.

* * *

okay, that was a sad chapter, but it gets better for Matthew! I swear!

the first * was on the word oval. I'm basing this of omg my town, and we call it the oval, but the official name is town square, but it is also in the shape of a triangle... yes confusing. there are two bridges in my town, and they cross over from two of the points. The reason I'm mentioning this is that the whole Matthew-Ivan-Alfred thing happened at one point on the triangle, the Matthew-Francis happened on the other, and the Gilbert-Roderich happened in the part by the third point, and also the park that is the third point is where Arthur meets Scotty. This is all happening at the same time, so I'm not sure if it helped to map it out, or son fuse you more...

also mon amour rapide mean my quick love in french :)


	8. Chapter 8

Francis watched him go, and then he started walking towards the green bridge and his home. He felt horrible on the inside, knowing what he just did to Matthew. It was horrible from all aspects, Matthew now hated him as well as Michelle, and he still felt empty on the inside. He was supposed to be from the country of love, but he somehow always ended with no love whatsoever.

_Francis watched him go, and then he started walking towards the green bridge and his home. He felt horrible on the inside, knowing what he just did to Matthew. It was horrible from all aspects, Matthew now hated him as well as Michelle, and he still felt empty on the inside. He was supposed to be from the country of love, but he somehow always ended with no love whatsoever._

But poor Matthew, how could he have done that to him? What would happen now? Will he call the police? He didn't know, but it seemed as if the greyness was catching, because he almost didn't care. He wished all this didn't happen, but he couldn't pretend forever.

When he got to the bridge, he saw Ivan, with his head in his hands, sitting on a big rock. As he walked, Ivan looked up.

"Hey, what are you doing? Are you okay?" Francis asked, seeing his puffy red eyes from crying.

"Nothing, just get outta here, I can't seem to be able to control myself today." he laughed halfheartedly as if it was a joke but he said it truthfully, Francis knew.

"Tell me what happened, come on." Francis said

"I-I can't, I'm just a horrible person, so you should go away quick, yes?" he said trying to convince Francis to leave, but he also wanted him to say it aloud.

"Ha, if you knew how horrible of a person I was, you wouldn't be saying that." Francis said, almost just to himself.

"You couldn't be worse than me." Ivan said, laughing at the idea of Francis thinking he was a bad person. He was perfect, never got into fight, no one was scared of him and got he friends easily.

"Well I did some thing bad this time. I don't even know how to handle it… I want to keep it a secret, but it would be a secret that would destroy me from the inside out. But if I told it, and it got out, I would be destroyed from the outside and inside." Francis said quietly, but he said it in a much more controlled French accent so Ivan could fully understand what he was saying.

"Well why don't you tell me, yes? I won't tell anyone else." Ivan said, getting some energy back.

"I don't think its a good idea…" Francis said, standing up, and trying to walk away, but Ivan grabbed him and pulled him back into the woods, past the rock.

"Oh, come on, I promise I'll keep the secret." he begged, not exactly because he wanted to know, but because he didn't want Francis to leave him alone to his thoughts.

"No, I got to go." he said, trying to pull away, but only got into a mini wrestling match, of course with Ivan winning. Then, because it was so dark, they tripped over a root and fell to the ground. Ivan was on top of him and Francis looked away.

"Tell me please?" Ivan asked.

Francis couldn't stand to look at him in the eye, but he couldn't stand to look away either.

"I raped someone. Nothing could get worse than that, ami."

Ivan was surprised, but he almost thought it shouldn't be all that surprising. It was Francis after all… "I'm worse than that, I raped one, almost two, guys." now it was Francis's turn to be surprised, but not, at the same time.

"And now I think I might do it again." Ivan said, he just couldn't stop himself, he wanted to become one with everyone. Besides, Francis looked just too perfect right then. Ivan pulled off Francis's shirt and jacket, and tied his wrists with them.

He was fully restrained by Ivan, but to Francis, it made it almost better. He could feel less blame; he would be the victim here, he wanted to feel what Matthew did, as some sort of punishment that made him blame himself less. This made him feel free, ironic as that was, he wanted to have no choice, because it was fodder for his internal desire. But in truth, he was enjoying himself as much as Ivan was.

Ivan sucked on his neck, leaving a hickey. Francis knew it was risky, but he let out his voice. He didn't want people to find him; he wanted it to continue. If they did find him, then he wouldn't be blamed at all, he would hate himself still, and have to look like he hated Ivan for doing this to him, as a lie to cover up his feelings.

Francis again, broke his own rules, and began to kiss Ivan back. It was hard to resist. Then Ivan reached down, and unbuttoned Francis' pants, and unzipped them. Ivan ran his fingers around the bulge in Francis's pants; who could feel their warmth, arousing him more.

Ivan kissed him again, and his shaft stiffened, and rubbed up against Ivan's jeans as they kissed. Ivan undid his pants, tossing them to the pine needle strewn forest floor. Their members rubbed together as they kissed deeper. Then Ivan began to stroke them both together in his big hand. They soon were moist and, the boys were breathing heavily, moaning at times when Ivan touched their sensitive spots. Then Ivan began working at Francis's backside. Francis still had no choice in the matter, but he didn't do anything to stop it. He let it happen with no complaints.

One finger was in, then another, and when there was three. Ivan couldn't wait any longer; he had to do it then. The first time Francis felt it poking; his voice came out too loud. Ivan quieted him with his lips and tongue. Then in it went, Francis felt so good, but he began to cry. The inner battle of if this was right or wrong tore at his insides, and so he cried. Ivan didn't know why Francis cried, but assumed it was his fault. He gave up trying to make it even a bit comfortable for him. He plunged in right then, and then proceeded to go in and out roughly. He had to stop kissing for a bit to breath, and he wiped the sweat from his brow, even though he knew it wouldn't help. Francis agin let out into the silent night.

Francis panted and was out of breath when he came. He spurted on Ivan's face, who wiped it off and licked some of it up while he continued to pick up speed. It repulsed Francis and made him want more at the same time. Right then, Ivan came inside him. They were both exhausted. Ivan knew he had to pull out, and he did with sorrow, thinking this would be the last time he could be this close to Francis, especially like this.

As they calmed down, their breathing got steadier, and Francis battle still continued. He looked at Ivan and the sight of his sweaty body, with cum in places, made him give up the war. He surrendered to himself. He didn't do this just to make up for what he did to Matthew, and to fill the void, he kind of liked Ivan, and he had to admit that to himself. But at the same time, Ivan was starting a battle in his head, did he like Francis, or not, and if he did, why did he do such a horrible thing to him that it would make him cry? So he began to cry. Again.

Francis didn't understand, he thought everything would work out now, but now he's crying. Ivan couldn't look him in the eyes, he felt that if he did then all he would see was hatred and he didn't want to see that. He was regretting what he did, but wanted to do it again just as much.

Francis leaned into Ivan, hugging him, and holding him close. Ivan didn't understand at first, but he hugged back. He needed something tangible to hold on to, or else he might get swept along in his river of sadness never to return. They held each other like that, naked and sweaty, covered with cum and pine needles in the woods until Ivan stopped crying.

"I'm sorry." Ivan managed to say.

"Don't be sorry, because you haven't done anything wrong."

"But, I..."

"It's okay. Do you like me?" Francis asked, as a split second decision

Ivan took a second to retain what he just heard, then there was silence while he decided to answer, and he finally answered, "Yes, I think I do."

"Well I like you, so it's ok mon amour." Francis said then kissed him gently.

They both got dressed, and tried to wipe themselves off, but it was no use. Then they walked home their separate ways, with a promise to meet they're again at 3:30 the next day. They both fell asleep wishing the other were there in bed with them.

* * *

yes I know, not a usual pairing, but I hope you like it anyway :)

don't forget to review (and remember, reviewing is for _constructive_ criticism, not for anonymously calling people ten year olds who need to go back to english class. you know who u are)


	9. Chapter 9

Matthew walked down the road to the oval, and saw no one in sight, it was all seemed empty to him, and it was odd, but he didn't care. He looked at the ground as he walked, and didn't see Alfred coming his way.

"Matthew?" Alfred said when he spotted him.

He looked up, "Oh, hi." he said then contintued walking.

"I thought you went home?"

"Mhmm." he said, and tried to keep walking towards his house. He kept walking until he got to the second bridge and was standing next to the red arrow dinner. When he looked back he saw the Alfred was following him, so he speed up crossing the bridge then took a detour to the park behind the post office. He thought he was away then, but when he slowed down behind the large hedge, Alfred grabbed his arm.

"Do you hate me now?" he asked.

"No." he replied truthfully.

"Then why are you running away from me?"

"I don't know..."

"Do you like him better than me, is that it? I can show you I'm better." he kissed Matthews hand. Then he saw the dirt on his hands, and on his clothes, he saw a lot more than before. Then when he was about to ask, he saw bruises that he knew weren't from Ivan on Matthew's wrists.

"What happened... " he whispered.

Matthew looked away, for some reason he felt the greyness going away, and the feelings coming back, but it hurt, and he couldn't stand to feel hurt. Just having Alfred near him hurt.

"What happened Matthew."

"I, I, Francis, he..." he paused, "I was just walking home, and I saw him. I talked to him, and he wanted me to love him... just for a day he said, but, but..."

He began to cry, he was just beginning to feel the bliss of emptiness, but his feelings were now spilling back into his heart. He cried. He fell to the ground and curled up in a ball, and he cried. Alfred saved him before he hit his head, but it didn't matter. He was broken, and now he was trying to put his jagged pieces back together, but all he was doing was repeatedly stabbing what remained of his heart.

Then Alfred cried along with him. He cried because he hated seeing him sad and because something similar happened to him. He sensed that this was a deep wound that a kiss wouldn't heal, but he kissed him anyway. He tasted the tears and he cried. He kissed him and held him. He told him the oldest lie in the book, that "it will all be okay" and that "it will all be over soon."

Then Matthew began to feel the darkness being pushed back, each time a little more, because of each time Alfred kissed him; hugged him. The love Alfred had for him was like a wave crashing on the beach of despair. Each grain of pitch black sand being washed away was another piece of unhappiness in his life being removed from his heart so it could heal properly. Then, when it came down to just a few black boulders, he unleashed a tsunami of love. It came in the form of a long kiss, and a tight hug that was so long that he didn't know how long it lasted, but it worked.

Now that his heart was cleared for the time being, he could feel the true happiness of his long time crush loving him. Matthew smiled, and wiped away tears. Alfred smiled back and gently laid down on the soft grass. He noticed for the first time, how beautiful the night sky that tonight.

Now that he was calmed down he was able to enjoy a bit of what was happening. The sadness and wretched feeling were still there of course, but it was now beginning to sink under the ocean of happiness that was rising within him. Alfred gave him a chaste kiss that was filling him up with warmth in the cold night. Then they just laid next to each other, knowing that the love was still there without having to do anything more physical than holding hands. They had too many scaring sexual experiences that day for anything they do be but a reminder of their attackers.

Then out of the darkness and into Matthew and Alfred's view stumbled a dirty, grass stained Gilbert who tripped and landed in front of them with a yelp.

"Fuck! I need to tie my shoes! Rod-" then he saw them, "Uh, hey Roderich! Look, look! Alfred's gay!" he exclaimed.

Out of the dark came Roderich, just as dirty, who sighed and said, "Yes, yes. So are you."

"I'm not gay!" Gilbert protested.

"Then why are you dating me?" Roderich asked simply.

"Well we aren't dating, we just have sex." Gilbert said, as if that made him any less gay.

"You are an idiot." Roderich said blushing, and pushing up his glasses.

"Wait, are we dating or not?" Gilbert demanded; confused.

"Yes of course we are, now lets leave the poor couple be, Gilbert."

"Right, my awesome boyfriend needs me. See ya at school Matthew!" then he ran after Roderich who had started walking without him.

They just watched as they walked away, and they laid back down on the grass. They talked and looked at the stars for another hour or so. When they grew tired and cold, Alfred walked Matthew home, wishing he could have stayed with him longer. After that he walked home in his own little bubble of joy.


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur was nervous about the meeting with Scott. He knew he's changed since when he lasted liked him, but it was the same change he made. They used to be such innocent kids who would talk about the fairies and magical creatures, but they have changed. They had both gotten more... perverted in a way. It's hard to explain, but that's just how it was. It was 6:30, and he had already told his mom all about what happened, and where he was going. She probably didn't know the full extent of it, but she thought her son was a responsible young adult. And he was… he brought condoms and lube.

He began to get more worried as he walked towards the post office. What if he over prepared? What if he just wanted to apologize, and didn't really want to date him? Did he even like him? All these questions will soon be answered; he had to keep telling himself. When he got to the steps of the park, he saw Scotty way on the other side by the trees and the river bank.

He walked around the edge of the park, trying to wait until the last minute to be seen, but Scott saw him a little more than half way around, waving Arthur over, he picked up the pace, and got over there much quicker than he thought he could have.

"Hey." he said.

"Hey." he said, he was a bit out of breath, he didn't usually run places, but Arthur wanted this to happen, and he wanted it more than his legs appreciated.

"So, you got my valentine."

"Yup." Arthur replied. This was the first time in a while that they had talked and it was a bit awkward, especially now that they were alone in the dark.

"So, I wanted to apologize, for what I said in sixth grade, I just, wasn't thinking about anything, and we would have been to young anyway."

"To young? That's your excuse?" Arthur said, a bit agitated although he knew it was true.

"Yeah, to young." Scotty grabbed his hand and pulled Arthur deeper into the forest to a park bench were they sat down, it was defiantly darker out here, but Arthur could still see Scotts face.

"Hey, so I'm not too late?"

"Nope."

"Have you liked me all this time?"

"No I stopped liking you after that, I was mad at you, but some of it still lingered even when I liked someone else."

"Who else did you like?" he asked already jealous of this unknown past crush of Arthurs.

"Oh, um, I kind of liked Ivan because my mom didn't like him…"

"_Because_? So you like to defy your parents?"

"Sometimes."

They sat for a moment in science, then, "So who do you like right now?"

Arthur paused before answering, "You."

"And I like you right now." Scott said, moving closer to him.

"Lovely." was all he could get out.

"So you to go out with me?" he said seeming fairly confidant, Arthur wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement.

"Sure." he couldn't reply much more than that.

"Sure? Just sure? Not like 'Yes, now come at me you sexy beast!" he asked

Arthur laughed, but tried to conceal it, and just ended up chocking. When he kept laughing, mostly out of nerves, he was silenced by a quick kiss. Things turned serious just like that.

"Too soon?" he asked, trying to read Arthurs face as it blushed dark red.

"Hmm, no," he smiled shyly, "Not soon enough." Then Arthur kissed him back, and he's done this before, and so has Scott, so they wasted no time.

Scott replied to Arthur's actions with his own. He pushed Arthur down on the park bench and kissing him passionately for what seemed like hours in Arthur and Scott's minds. When he finally took a break to breath he maneuvered himself around so he could get in his pocket. He pulled out something Arthur couldn't see, but he knew what it was instinctively.

"I came prepared, so you know if you want to stay at my place..." he said suggestively, while he kissed Arthurs neck.

Arthur pulled out his own, "I came prepared too. Just incase I brought a box." he grinned and blushed. Scotty then pulled him closer. Of course, Scott thought, just what he would do, then kissed him, and couldn't get enough.

The next time they stopped to breath, Scott said, "My parents went off on their Valentines Day stuff, so my house was free for us, if you want to go."

"Of course, why wouldn't I want to?" he kissed him quickly one last time before they stood up. Arthur followed him to his car, which was parked up the hill at the Rite-Aide. Scott pointed to his car with his key chain, and it beeped but didn't unlock.

"Sorry, it's old." He apologized, but not loud enough for Arthur to hear, because he was hearing something else. From the car next to Scotts he had heard a moan, like a real loud moan. Then he heard a name. Antonio. Arthur blushed even redder than he already was, and quickly got in the passenger seat.

"Lets go, hurry up!" he pressed, though Scott didn't know why, he didn't care because that was how he felt. They drove a fairly short distance to his house in silence.

Getting out of the car when they reached his house, Scotty swept Arthur out of the car and carried him into the house. Arthur was to embarrass for words, so he hit his shoulder, but Scott just grinned. He carried him into his room and dumped him onto his bed, kissing him and pulling off his shirt.

* * *

Post Scriptum:

I wrote this book a while ago and this is me just going back to edit and upload it. Now I'm at the point were I have nothing left to edit. I do acknowledge the fact that I left off at a weird place, and haven't really gotten into everyone's stories. But I was wondering if anyone actually wanted me to write those parts or not, and if you do, I will totally write more. Feedback is the best, so if you like this just the way it is, have questions or if you want me to change anything at all, it would be great if you told me! Don't forget to favorite and dftba!


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